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Title:  'It's a crazy world, it's a bit absurd.'
Fandom/Type: SPN RPS non-AU (as in Js star on SPN)
Pairing: J2: always-a-girl!Jared/Jensen, mentions of past relationships
Rating: PG(ish)
Warnings: drunk Js, het-smooching, a general convention twist, A/Ns after the ending
Wordcount: 1253
Beta: My splendid saedulaque All remaining mistakes are mine
Disclaimer: No one was harmed during the making of this fic. Persons mentioned or alluded here are their own people, and did not want to participate in this scenario. Shame. ;>
A/N: So after along  while of lurking on J2&SPN mostly slashy comms,  here I come with a het-smoochfest *facepalms at self*. Still in my defense,  certain plot-bunny made me do it  so I'm totally excused. Or something. ;)


Jay tries nudging Jensen off the couch, but he’s heavy as a log and won’t budge.

They are both pleasantly buzzed after a party they’ve thrown in what Jay likes calling their bachelor pad--no matter how much Jensen squints at that. The parties have been happening a lot lately, always instigated by Jensen, always an attempt to bring Jay out of her funk. She appreciates them--she really does; but it’s been two weeks now, of late nights and all-weekend shindigs, two weeks that left their house somewhat devastated and she just feels like resting some and moping again.

She gets why Jensen is doing this: he feels bad that Sandy dumped her, not two months after she and her had gotten secretly engaged to be married. (Secretly, because Jay's current part time gig includes pretending to be Jensen’s fake girlfriend). 

He's also got to be tired of picking up the pieces for her: two weeks straight with a moping Jay, and two weeks with a cuddly ‘I-need-my-best-friend-so-indulge-me-now’ one would bring a saint to an early grave, and Jensen is definitely no saint. She’s walked in on enough of scarring (hot!) scenes that proved that.

In any case Jensen has apparently decided to borrow something from the happy-go-lucky Jay’s book (as he would call it, if he ever got those femaly monologues in his head--she wasn’t really sure if guys did that), or more like from a deranged ‘Mike-meets-Chad’ repertoire (as she would insist on calling it), and started throwing weekly bashes at their house, with during-the-week after hours pub crawls thrown in the mix. There’s always booze, and willing men and woman aplenty, but somehow she can’t just rebound and be done with it. It’s not really about Sandy anymore, it’s just that she’s really not all that interested and Jensen’s attempts aren’t really all that subtle. Also, it's not like he’s hooking-up up with guys left, right and center during these occasions anyway, so there you go with the whole leading by example thing.

Jay knows for a fact that Jensen is a hot blooded male, who after the fiasco of his relationship with John during season one did get up to his share of liaisons with the fellow sex. However that did not happened till way after all of the fall-out of the messy ‘now-that’you’re-famous-ish-I-will-go-to-press-and-out-you’ break-up, which in turn led to the need for the fabulousness of ‘the Jay and Jensen’s press coveted (and all around covered) fake romance' ™, both of which combined worked like major cockblocks for Jensen for a while. 

Which is why she doesn’t exactly have it in her to be pointing out to him, that he didn’t rebound right away after John either. For all she knows maybe he really wanted to, but it was just bad PR--Jensen’s awfully sensible about things like that. Even more so when he's hurting: it's like this coping mechanism of his, which is why she indulges him even now, when it's her own scarred (and getting more so) psyche on the line. Still, sometimes she feels he forgets that for all of her not-so-girly ways, she’s not actually one if the guys.

She sighs, and views her roommate. He’s sprawled lazily on their living room couch, and looks quite ready to fall asleep.

‘C’mon man. Let’s get you to your bedroom. You’ll be majorly cranky tomorrow otherwise.’ she nudges him again with her knee and tries to pull him up but he’s really no more the dead weight on her arm that he was on her first attempt. Now, he’s actually actively resisting.

She raises an eyebrow at him questioningly, and he grins at her happily –if sloppily- and she’s really not impressed. It’s late, they’ve got to go to sleep, sober up and be ready for morning in like 5 hours, and Jensen’s cute drunk routine is not amusing. She’s ready to resort to sticking pointy fingers in his ribs or tickling next (she’s not decided yet), when her idiot of a roommate pulls her down on the couch so unexpectedly she actually ends up falling into his lap.

He seems unphased, and proceeds to land a loud sloppy smack of a kiss on her lips in an exaggerated fashion. In his defense, she was squirming and he probably just meant to kiss her cheek or something like that, so she just decides to fight off the weird feeling in the pit of her stomach with some evasive tactics. 

‘Ooooh! Jensen!’ she gushes fakely, ‘You kissed female lips! FEMALE lips! They’ll take away your gay card for that! You are tainted now,man. Tainted, I tell you!’ she allows her voice to grow false-ominously booming, while she nervously watches for Jensen’s reaction. Huh, since when is she exactly nervous around Jensen? She shakes her head at herself and tries shaking it off.

She waits still for him to dislodge her from his lap forcibly, or let go of her waist (hey! When did his hand get there exactly?!), or at least get awkward with her or fake-leery, or anything that would even remotely allow her to play the strangeness off, but Jensen just looks at her fondly while she’s ranting, and then pulls her down for another kiss. As in a real, full frontal tongue-to-teeth-to-tongue kiss. She’s too shocked to deny him access at first, and she sinks into the kiss for a while but she snaps out of the daze (not) soon enough. She pushes him back slightly, props herself better in his lap and looks him squarely and faux-mockingly in the eye. He doesn’t falter under her gaze, just smiles at her happily, and it’s just not right. Not under the circumstances.

‘Dude, what is that? You do know that you’re gay, right?’ she looks at him incredulously.

‘Uhm,’ he mumbles, ‘I think, I may be sorta bi-curious, you know,’ he says, and she gives him an unbelieving look. He shrugs and looks at her somewhat shyly.

"Bi-curios for you" is left unsaid, and Jay wants to just roll with it because the kissing is great, but she still can’t.

‘You know, I’m mostly into chicks now,’ she points out belligerently when Jensen moves on to nibbling at her neck. He looks up and lifts an eyebrow at her.

‘You’re still bi, chica. And you’re thinking too much,’ he tells her finally, and starts kissing her again.
She wants to retort that she may be bi, but he isn’t, that this is really messed up, that their friendship is on the line and million other things that keep nagging her at the back of her brain wanting to be voiced, but for the time being she’s thrumming with need, and it’s all Jensen’s fault and he’d better deliver--so quite regally (for a drunk girl in a drunk gay guy’s lap) she allows him to proceed with the making out. She probably should be freaking out with both of them moaning into it, and Jensen under her getting h a p p i e r  by the minute, but she finds it all strangely soothing--not to mention enticing.

Like a true Southern belle (that she’s worked so hard not to be--she's a feminist goddammit!), she’ll think about it tomorrow.


                                                                             The End

A/N continued. Don't get me wrong, I actually read more slashy (male or female) fiction than het one lately, and I don't believe that 100% gay people can be switched to the straight side. But as sexuality of those of us who aren't total 100% straight or gay  is a bit more vague, I thought to myself:' So we often have thisboth  Js are straight or one is gay and the other not, but they start being into each other anyway  theme in J2 (especially non-AU) fanfiction, so what would happen if we'd reverse it? If one of the Js was a girl and the other considered himself 100% gay till the moment he met her, but then maybe started having full blown feelings for her?' I found this notion intriguing and this is where it got me so far and we'll see how it'll fare next (as in I'm working on the Jensen POV now). Share your thoughts, coz you know, it's been a while since I posted any fic wherever, this is my first SPNy RPS and all. Also I'm vain need feedback, and reviews are love:).
A/N Trivia: I was maybe being slightly mean about John who here is a male version of a certain model by the name of Joanna that Jensen used to go out with. It may be me acting out, as she had this very, very silly programme on Polish TV in which she absolutely butchered her own native language. She may be a lovely lady other than that, but I'm a a bit of a purist, so there. No harm intended.


May. 4th, 2012 03:36 am (UTC)